What’s Your Story?

“Are you kidding? We’re in a deepening recession. Everyone is losing his or her job. The unemployment rates are skyrocketing. Families are struggling to have only the basic necessities. People are living month to month, if not day to day. Who can even begin to consider a positive future with such a mess in our economy right now?”

This is a common conversation amongst people these days. The usual answer at the end of the discussion is, “No one.” But the true answer to it is, “YOU!” Have you ever had someone tell you that they woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning? What they really mean is that something unusual happened to them and they expect the entire day to be terrible. Does their day actually turn out that way? Unfortunately it does, more often than not. But the sad part is it doesn’t have to.

With everything that happens to you in your life, you choose, either consciously or subconsciously, what these events and occurences mean, how they affect you, and what you should do about them. But too many people allow their choices to be blindly guided by someone else — a friend, a leader, the media. So when the radio says, “Life is miserable and marriages everywhere are breaking up,” they believe it. And before they know it, they are having trouble with their spouses and their finances in a major way. Their beliefs become their actions and their lives become the products of those actions.

It’s so easy to say that circumstances are beyond your control. It’s much more difficult to recognize and admit that we can do something about them. All day, everyday, you engage in an internal dialogue in your mind. This dialogue, even though you may not always be aware of it, has an enormous impact on you. Your internal conversation (the thought) guides your external conversation (the word) which guides your actions (the deed).

In essence, you are telling yourself stories, stories about the way things will happen in your day, stories about how its events will unfold, and stories about what the people you encounter will be like. And whether you realize it or not, very often you have colored your day, or month, or year before it has even begun. But I’d like to let you in on a little secret: the biggest thing that keeps you from having an outstanding life right now is only the story you tell yourself about why you can’t have it. Powerful thought, isn’t it?

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) provided a perfect example of how the stories you tell yourself shape your actions and affect your life. Upon leaving the city of Ta’if, wounded and bleeding, his heart (SAW) pierced by the insult, ridicule and abuse inflicted upon him by the city’s people, he began making a dua that reflected his distress:

“Allah! I complain to You of my weakness, my scarcity of resources and the humiliation I have been subjected to by the people. O Most Merciful of those who are merciful. O Lord of the weak and my Lord too. To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?”

Yet seemingly, amidst the dua, the Prophet (SAW) refocused his thinking, changed the story he was telling himself, and continued his supplication in a different light. He continued:

“So long as You are not Angry with me, I do not care. Your Favor is of a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the Light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled, and every affair of this world and the next is set aright, lest Your Anger or Displeasure descends upon me. I desire Your Pleasure and Satisfaction until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.”

Soon after making this dua, the Prophet (SAW) was greeted by the Angel Gabriel (AS) and the Angel of the Mountains who told him that the people of Ta’if could be crushed between the mountains if that was his wish. Considering the initial part of the dua, this opportunity would appear as one to sieze. But the Prophet (SAW) had looked at his situation in a different and more positive way. He (SAW) spared the lives of the people of Ta’if with the sincere hope that one day their progeny would accept Islam. And as you know from Islamic history, this came to be.

So the questions for you now become:

1) What stories are you telling yourself right now about who you are, how possible your dreams are, and how you will live your life?

2) What can you do to begin changing your stories and start bringing about the things you truly desire?

It’s true that only Allah SWT knows your eventual destination and how everything will turn out. But it is also true that when you focus on writing your own internal story, you can strengthen your character, change your setting, and even spice up the plot a bit, or not. Ultimately, the choice is left up to you.

What will you choose?

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Sonia Doubbousi serves as principal at AlHijra School, is a certified life coach at DiscoverU Life, and runs a blog dedicated to learning. Find more of her insights at:

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